I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul – Neruda
Loving chaos is a form of love that breaks you down. Lying all night in bed planning commitment, playing the devil’s advocate, arguing from all sides. I can never decide on loving just one thing. Commitment isn’t my cup of tea, so I will never truly love only one idea, but the chaos of them all.
Insomnia led me to the point of complete exhaustion. It led me to 5 hours of tears that started bursting out of my eyes in the middle of my Spanish grammar class. They seized at last as I decided to let go of it all. Ajo y agua or fuck it and get over it. I can still feel my headache and the lump in my chest. S said you can hate life…
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